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“It’s Just a Prank, Bro”: The Madison Cawthorn Story
Dispatches from the frat house
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The biggest crime of the Madison Cawthorn video that just dropped is that these coke orgy ghouls are forcing me to agree with the little asshole on something. For this, I will never forgive them.
I cannot believe I am about to die on this hill. I cannot believe people are so unfamiliar with bro culture and I mean this literally: I cannot actually believe people are unaware of what’s happening here. A lot of you are choosing not to know because it’s funnier that way, I suspect. We’ll get to that later.
For those who actually don’t know: allow me to explain.
On May 4th, agents, I presume, of the degenerates who host the coke orgies leaked 29 seconds of the most the heterosexual footage I have ever seen in my life. In it, Madison Cawthorn crawls across a large bed with a white comforter on it. Cawthorn, on top of the comforter, maneuvers onto the sleeper horizontally and grunts aggressively as he…
