Conservatives (Fail To) Cope with Indictment #4

Laura Jedeed
6 min readAug 15, 2023
a child screaming
https://pixabay.com/photos/scream-child-girl-people-kid-1819736/

It is August 15th, 2023 and the Heritage Foundation’s daily Daily Signal newsletter has devoted their top spot to the most relevant political story of the day: an unfolding legal scandal that revolve around a threat to democracy itself. One of America’s two parties continues to be held held hostage by a profoundly corrupt criminal operative who is, nonetheless, their only viable option for 2024.

I am talking, of course, about the ongoing Hunter Biden scandal:

In case you missed it somehow, Trump has been indicted, again, this time in Georgia. We knew the indictment was coming and hot damn was it worth the wait: we’re talking RICO charges, racketeering with 18 co-conspirators, we’re talking accusations of a criminal organization that conspired to deprive Georgians of the right to vote. Also, here’s a fun fact: because these are state charges, Trump can’t pardon himself on this one, even if he wins in ’24. State rights cut both ways, baby. Welcome to federalism.

“How can the Republicans possibly support Trump with all that’s come to light?” many are asking, and when it comes to the Daily Signal the answer is: by sticking their fingers in their ears and screaming about the Joe Biden crime family. Lying back and thinking about Hunter Biden’s dick. Oh, and children’s dicks too, but when do they not these days? “California AG Hints at Investigating Second School Board to Back Parental Rights on Kids’ Gender Transitions,” the Daily Signal home page now screams. “Court Rules School District Allowed to Keep Child Gender Transitions From Parents” blares another. Both these headlines are visible without scrolling.

To be fair, there is one article about Trump up top: “LAST LAUGH? Hillary Clinton Responds to News of Trump’s Latest Indictment.” Hillary Clinton! Conservatism is supposed to be about returning to an imaginary past that never was, not about literally living there. The article provides blow-by-blow coverage of a 15-minute news segment in which Rachel Maddow and Clinton have a bit of fun at Trump’s expense. Points hit in the article: Comey wouldn’t let Trump lock Hillary up, but now they’re trying to…

--

--

Laura Jedeed

Freelance journalist, filthy pleb. Politics mostly. Find my work at NYMag, Politico, Rolling Stone, New Republic, and Substack: https://laurajedeed.substack.com